Under the Acer Tree: Finding Anchors When Life Gets Hard
- Ben Hickman
- Aug 12
- 7 min read
Reflective Rebels Podcast: Season 1, Episode 2
At 15, Craig woke up with half his face paralyzed. Today, facing his partner's terminal cancer diagnosis, he's learned something profound about finding solid ground when life keeps shifting beneath your feet.
From teenage struggles with Bell's palsy to his partner Jenny's recent terminal cancer diagnosis, Craig's story reveals how life's hardest moments have taught him to find joy in small things - from overheard conversations in Kendall to his "Acer tree" in the garden and the simple act of listening to music in his front room.
Life teaches us resilience not through grand epiphanies, but through quiet moments under trees, through learning to find joy in overheard conversations, and through discovering that our darkest challenges can become the source of our greatest compassion for others.
Craig's story isn't about dramatic transformation - it's about something perhaps more remarkable: learning to find solid ground when life keeps shifting beneath your feet.
What We Can Learn
Craig's story offers several profound lessons for anyone facing uncertainty or challenge:
Find your anchors - Whether it's a tree for weeding, music for thinking, or running for processing, identify what grounds you when life feels chaotic.
Perspective is powerful - The phrase "it's not that bad, and it'll be over eventually" isn't dismissive - it's a hard-won wisdom that can carry us through anything.
Small moments matter more than big achievements - Joy in overheard conversations, pride in others' growth, gratitude for a son eating pizza - these are the real victories.
Use your struggles to help others - Our difficult experiences become most meaningful when they enable us to support others through similar challenges.
Trust the process - "Everything happens for a reason" isn't passive resignation - it's active faith that we can handle whatever comes next.
Craig's story reminds us that our most difficult experiences often become our greatest sources of compassion for others. Sometimes the trees that save us are right in our own gardens.
When Everything Changes Overnight
At 15, Craig woke up to discover he'd lost the use of the entire right side of his face. Bell's palsy had struck overnight, leaving him unable to blink, his mouth drooping, his eye watering constantly.
"As somebody who was 15 to 16, that's probably the worst kind of time for something like that to happen," he reflects. The treatments were rough - electrodes on wet pads, electricity running through his face to force movement. At school in 80s Burnley, he became an easy target: "I was only five foot two when I went into secondary school and I was five foot two when I left, with a slopey face."
But this experience, devastating as it was, gave Craig something invaluable: perspective.
"I've always been able, since then I think, been able to look at life and go, two things, it's not that bad. And I know it'll be over eventually."
The Power of Perspective
What's remarkable about Craig's Bell's palsy experience isn't just how he survived it, but how it became a lens through which he views all of life's challenges. Meeting other students with greater struggles - a girl whose brother had died, a friend with severe injuries from a bike accident - taught him that his pain, real as it was, existed within a larger context.
"There are usually people struggling a lot more with more severe things than I've ever had to deal with," he learned. This wasn't about minimising his own experience, but about developing resilience through perspective.
The teenager who once ran out of English class rather than give a presentation eventually became someone who enjoys giving talks. The boy who felt isolated and different found ways to connect authentically with others.
Escaping Burnley: When Geography is Destiny
Craig's description of growing up in Burnley paints a picture of a place where creativity wasn't just discouraged - it was invisible. When he expressed interest in architecture, the careers teacher's response was blunt: "There's no jobs around here for that, son. Why don't you either work in the mill or become an engineer?"
Burnley in the 1980s was a tough place. Craig remembers running to school to avoid getting "the shit kicked out of you," hiding behind sheds from cars full of people with baseball bats and knives, navigating a world where Friday night drinks could turn friendly schoolmates into violent strangers.
But a friend's brochure for technical illustration at Blackpool College changed everything. "I took one look at it and I thought... learning how to illustrate." That decision led to meeting creative people he'd never encountered growing up, to travelling around Europe, and eventually to a job offer in the Lake District.
"It is one of the best things and best decisions I've ever made," he says of leaving Burnley. Sometimes escape isn't giving up - it's growing towards who you're meant to become.
Finding Anchors in Unexpected Places
Fast-forward to Craig's adult life, and we see how those early lessons in resilience have evolved into something deeper: the ability to find anchors when life becomes overwhelming.
There's the front room of his Victorian end-terrace house, where he sits centrally positioned between his high-end speakers, listening to everything from Chopin to Rage Against the Machine, notebook in hand, letting his mind make those creative connections that feel like "a happy, warm feeling of being entertained."
There's running in the rain with a woolly hat and headphones, using LA Woman by the Doors as his 5K timer - three plays equals 24 minutes, his target time.
And then there's the Acer tree.
The Tree That Saved Him
"There's an Acer tree in our garden that probably saved me,"
Craig says, describing a period when he faced "really testing times" including false allegations that required police safeguarding support.
Under this tree, surrounded by bluebells and spring bulbs, Craig found himself weeding during times when he couldn't face going to work. "I love it and I hate it in equal measures," he says of the tree - beautiful in spring, but the source of all the garden weeds in summer.
But those moments under the tree became more than just coping - they became communication. It was there that he learned to talk to his partner Jenny about what was going on, why he was under the tree rather than at work.
"I think it's having someone to trust, isn't it, that you know has got your back, knows you, believes you, knows wants the best for you. And I didn't always have that, but I do now."
Joy in Small Moments
What emerges from Craig's story is someone who has learned to find joy not in grand achievements, but in the small moments that fill a life: overheard conversations between elderly couples in Kendall, watching his team members Harry and Shona grow into their roles, the moment his son Joel - who had survived on chips and cinnamon swirls - suddenly ate a pizza on holiday in Spain.
"I think I cried," Craig remembers of that pizza moment. "It's ridiculous that you think that your son... won't eat certain foods and you think, how did that happen? How did we end up here? And there are good reasons why we ended up there. But to see him do that and just be so pleased for him really."
These aren't dramatic transformation stories. They're the quiet victories that actually make up most of life - if we're paying attention.
Facing the Unknown
Recently, Craig and Jenny received news that would reshape everything: Jenny has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. As someone who used to run a hospice, Jenny now finds herself on the other side of that experience, at home, navigating chemotherapy and uncertainty.
Craig's response reveals everything about the person those early challenges helped him become. They're designing a pergola for the garden, planning travels and experiences within Jenny's capabilities, and Craig is training for fundraising challenges for Eden Valley Hospice.
"I do believe everything happens for a reason, the good and the bad," he reflects.
"Not always knowing what comes next is okay and then just being able to feel confident and comfortable enough to take that on."
The Wisdom of the Tree
When asked what the Acer tree has taught him, Craig's answer reveals the depth of growth that can come from life's hardest lessons:
"Being nice to people matters, being kind matters, and trying to help people matters to me, because I know the things that I've struggled on. So if I can help people through the bits that I've struggled on..."
This is resilience in its mature form - not just surviving difficulty, but using that survival to help others. Not just finding your own anchors, but helping others discover theirs.
Listen to the Full Episode on spotify, apple or search 'Reflective Rebels' wherever you get your podcasts.
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to Reflective Rebels Podcast
00:47 Embracing Creativity and Music
13:09 Turning point: Bells Palsy
20:42 Life Changes: Moving to the Lake District
23:55 Life in Burnley: A Personal Reflection
27:54 Finding Joy in Everyday Moments
31:57 Appreciating the small things
33:44 Coping with Challenges: Under the Acer tree
36:07 Facing Uncertainty with Hope
47:12 Thank you for listening
Mentioned in This Episode:
Bell's palsy and its long-term impact
Moving from Burnley to the Lake District
High-end hi-fi and album listening
Running to Doors and Rage Against the Machine
The Acer tree as a place of refuge
Eden Valley Hospice fundraising
The importance of having someone to trust
If This Resonates...
Are you looking for your own anchors when life feels uncertain?
Craig's story reminds us that resilience isn't about having all the answers - it's about finding the small things that ground us, being kind to others, and trusting that we'll get through whatever comes next.
Join our email community for more honest stories about finding strength in difficulty and joy in unexpected places.
And if you're navigating your own challenging time - whether it's health, relationships, or life transitions - I'd love to explore how coaching can help you navigate your own challenging time and find what grounds you. Sometimes we all need support to see what we can't see ourselves.
Email ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk to book a conversation.
I'm Ben, and through The Reflective Rebels Podcast and my coaching work, I help people navigate their own "enough" moments - those times when you're ready to stop pretending everything's fine and start creating a life that actually feels good. Because your story isn't over yet.
Comments